I only mention this today because I see this all too often in a city such as this. Too many couples wed for status or money. I wait on plenty who have chosen this philosophy, and honestly it leaves me a little jaded.
After I left work today, I received a text from a friend. He just got a new car...what was wrong with the old one? Absolutely nothing. He was told, I'm sure by a greasy-ass salesman, that this new car represents success. Now that he makes X amount per year, he'll now be able to use the flashy ride to help find a good woman to stay at home and take care of him.
What he said was not only frustrating, but found a very deep sense of sadness within me as well.
A man recently said something profound to me, "No matter how many rooms you have in your home, you can only be in one at a time. Nor does the size of the room matter...when you close your eyes, it's all the same." Unfortunately not many people here would agree with that statement. This city-- hell, Oakland County in general, but this city in particular-- prides itself on status, if I don't have to say it a million times. Material possessions, top-shelf products play a part in who you are. Forget having good morals and a personality. How heavy is that credit card in your pocket? Is it metal? Is it black? Jackpot. Hello, baby.
I told him, (here's my free therapy as a bartender) using status and things to reel in a woman will only find you one kind--
A gold-digging bitch. Someone you will grow to resent down the line because no one likes a leech. Someone that will never meet you halfway on anything. Probably a daddy's girl who will need to be supported in order to be fulfilled as your love is not, and never will be, enough. For she doesn't love you unconditionally, but regrettably your bank account. For better or for worse, as long as you are maintaining her wants, needs, yoga classes, botox, shopping sprees and salon appointments, she will love you. For richer or for poorer is not an option. The day that happens, she will find another man more able of supporting her.
Look instead , I told him, for someone who prides themselves on family and the basics. Who won't toss the future children at some nanny. Someone who has cleaned a damn toilet in her lifetime, because that isn't beneath her. Someone who has her own ambitions, with substance and character. A level head on her shoulders, with a sound reasoning aside from the slight ebb and flow craziness that accompanies anything with a vagina. Bottom line-- you are looking for your best friend-- not some in-the-flesh blow-up doll.
And if those qualities-- or the lack thereof-- really DO appeal to you, then I feel terribly, incredibly sorry for you. Your best luck is at the strip club.
But what do I know? I'm just a bartender.
To each their own.
Cheers.
--Malia Etienette
Photo Credit:
Red bottoms- www.elitedaily.com
Odd couple- www.redorbit.com
I Ain't Sayin' She a Gold Digger- www.epicjaws.com
Titty Bar- www.nydailynews.com
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