Thursday, September 5, 2019

Waiting for What, Anymore...

I haven’t written much of anything in years.  Not a blog. Not a post on Facebook.

Getting a degree wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. That magical piece of paper, my diploma, was supposed to open doors like the Golden Ticket in Charlie’s Chocolate Factory.  It was supposed to be a leg up.  It wasn’t anything of the sort.

After college, I stayed in the restaurants while I looked for work.  Eventually was fired from the last bar I’d written about because I refused to be a wench, cleaning up colossal messes after holiday parties I did not partake in by myself. This moment forced me into the job market, searching desperately for anything that my skills applied to.  Here is where I tell you majoring in Communications was a very bad idea.

I worked for a marketing firm for one week.  I find it hard to say marketing firm as the group, Jacob James, hired in kids off the street to go door-to-door, B2B in my case and pedal either T-Mobile accounts or get people to switch over to Direct Energy as their alternative gas supplier.  I shadowed a girl for a week, didn’t make the cut because forcing people’s hands in business was not my thing.  I was literally dumped off at a McDonalds on her route and had to find a way home- the company did not pay me a penny for the time worked.

Eventually I caught a break and got a position as a call center representative for the gas company and in a year, made it out of that department into another role where I currently do work.

Nothing is glamorous; life is check-to-check.

I was accompanied through much of this time by a boyfriend, of now five years together. And just now have confirmed suspicions that he is not who I thought- living a double life, a wife at home who had rarely seen him in the last half decade.

Needless to say, life throws you curveballs. Lemons. What have you.

It’s what you make of it.

I don’t know where I’ll go from here, and frankly I’m all but quite lost.
In a job that I hate, with no one to greet me at home. Life was much easier pretending to care about what customers wanted to eat for the evening, as I sit here now thinking I haven’t eaten in days.

It was easier being surrounded by fake people than those who can truly hurt you.

The Waiting Game has now become my life.


The Good.

The Bad...


And the Ugly.