You always wonder why the guy behind the bar is such a grouch. "What's up his ass?" is the typical thought most people have. It's years of having other customers shit in his Wheaties, that's what.
I hate to admit this, but it's 100% true, after serving in several establishments in different cities with different demographics, there are stereotypes that emerge-- and I know it's not nice, but I am only being honest. This is true for what we believe you will order, how you will treat us, to how you tip.
What I'd like to talk about is the tipping. Yes, money does make the world go round. It also pays my bills. Even I am guilty of getting a certain table, and cringing because I know (intuition perhaps) I won't receive more than ten percent if I'm LUCKY, because hell the stereotype says..... Don't sit there, behind your computer and shake your head saying, "Oh no, not me. Never would I..." because then you would be a horrible liar as well. We're all guilty of it, and you're right. It's nothing to be proud of.
I have worked at places where certain tables get nicknamed. A sampling of the names I've heard are "Fifties Diners," "Penny Pinchers," "Monday's," and "Canadians." The rest aren't so nice.
Yes, we know it's horribly cruel and absolutely not fair to the individual, but when one particular group only perpetuates the stereotype we servers can't help but keep it to a generalization.
A week ago I had a table and...as most of my stories do start-- I knew I'd have my tuckus ran, and boy did I ever. Five different appetizers. Multiple rounds of drinks. Several main dishes. Dessert. Coffees.
The tab rounded up nearly to three hundred. Of course, any server at this point knew they'd walk with sixty before tip out on that table (if their service was stellar). I was hoping for fifteen, maybe eighteen percent. Sure, I'm lowballing myself but I'd rather be mildly surprised than be sorely disappointed.
What was the tip? Twenty-five dollars even.
You do the math. I'm no whiz, but I would say I was shorted there just a bit.
The first things to reel through my mind were, "Was I that bad? Did I forget something? Was I neglectful? Was it the food they disliked?"
There's a million and one things that could have gone wrong, and we don't like to immediately do it, but sometimes we jump to the foolproof and clearly-obvious-because-we're-just-judgemental-assholes, "It's because they're foreign" or "It's because they're X."
I quickly put an end to my poutiness and sulking, realizing I still had four other tables that needed to be checked on because where I lost money on one, I had money to make on another.
Low and behold.
A call came in several days later with a woman on the other end asking for me. She was concerned, mentioning I had waited on her earlier that week. She continued on to explain the wonderful service I had given her, her husband and friend, and how absolutely awful she felt when her credit statement had shown the tip her husband left was less that satisfactory. This guest apologized again and again, asserting that I was supposed to have received 25%, not the measly $25.
Blown away, I thanked her for calling and that her phonecall back was enough. It isn't everyday that someone calls in to admit a mistake. Two days later she left a small note at our front hostess stand, thanking me once again and hoping to have me as a server in the nearby future. Enclosed in the sealed envelope was an additional $60.
Rarely.
I repeat, rarely does that ever happen. Shocked, it just reminded me that stereotypes are a bunch of bull. No person should be preconceived as guilty for someone else's shortcomings. Additionally, not every shorted tip was done purposefully. Accidents, just as a server could screw up an order, happen. She not only went out of her way to apologize, but also corrected and even overcompensated for the mishap.
People like her make me grateful, and also tell me to hit the brakes on making groups of X such a lump sum. There are other cultures, races, countries that simply do not see eye-to-eye on the matter of tipping or dining ettiquette in general, and that's just the way the world works. You're not going to win them all. This isn't a race. I need to slow down, appreciate people for who they are, and never assume. Yes, we all do know what they say about that, thank you cliches.
And THANK YOU, "Mrs. I" for more than what you should have left.
For proving me wrong, and teaching me a lesson on goodness.
You are an honest person and truly, deeply appreciated.
-Malia Etienette
Photo Credit:
Armed and Angry: www.imfdb.org/wiki/My_Name_is_Earl
"It's Not Obama's Fault You're a Jerk": www.patheos.com
"Tipping Archives": www.madamenoire.com
"Prize Giveaway Tee": www.mindfieldlive.com
Tips Article: www.grownsoul.com
The Giving Tree Cover: www.allisoncherrybooks.com
"Give Thanks Every Day": www.greatist.com
Stereotyping picture: www.madamenoire.com
