So, A Guy Walks into the Bar...

That's how all good stories start, right?

On a more serious note, today he walks into the bar weary, worn and chilled from being outside too long, improperly bundled for the bitter Michigan weather.  I ask the man if he needs any help.  His eyes lit up for a moment and then shamefully lowered back down.  Reluctantly, he looks out the window to the bus stop and then reproachfully back to me.  A bus fare was all he wishes. A bus fare to take him home, out of the cold.

Without hesitation, I turn to my tip jar and pull out a few crinkled up singles.  Just a few dollars, something I put towards an eighteen-syllable, unnecessarily-priced gourmet cup of coffee on the regular anyway.  A couple of dollars is what I toss away vainly, burn up, or consume without any care in the world on a very regular basis.  What was a few dollars to me?



The man thanks me and then rushes out of the door into the miserably low temperatures to catch his bus-- almost missing the stop because he couldn't say thank you enough.  I didn't mind helping out, and I am grateful he chose to stop at my place of employment as opposed to any other.  I know he may not have been treated in the same fashion.  Not everyone else would have taken as kindly to being implored generosity, obligated to show mercy in a society that doesn't always approve of helping others.  We say we do, sure, but when faced with a moment of stepping up, many of us sit on the sidelines hoping for someone else to be the first to take action, to be the first to raise their hand in a class full of peers.

The ban on panhandling in the particular city I live and work in was lifted not long ago.  You see the young guy on the corner of Maple heading into the downtown by the grocery store...you see the paraplegic outside of a few businesses.  Do you walk by, hoping with baited breath to dodge an uncomfortable eye contact?  Do you make up an excuse as if to say, "sorry, all I have is my debit card"? Do you just avoid the entire situation altogether and cross the street?  


The man today reminds me of a woman once before coming into the fancy-pants coffee shop I frequent.  Her very presence disrupted the Stepford community, shocking them so.  This bubble I live in is so cloistered, so sheltered, tucked away safely in their affluence that the in-the-face encounter with issues like poverty and homelessness are earth-shattering concepts that don't exist in their reality.  Some guests were appalled at the gall of the woman to come in, an intruder, asking for food.  She was tired, hungry and clearly hurting.  In a matter of seconds after she was shooed from the premise, the highly disgruntled customers exchanged uneasy glances and returned to their smart tablets, their iProducts, or whatever else they had going on in their lives that was more important.  No one had moved.  After buying an extra breakfast sandwich, I left the shop to look for the woman.  She was no where to be found, and I had balked.  Moreover, I was disappointed for not acting sooner.  




The man from this afternoon offered me a chance to do good, and I took it.  I think there are many times we are faced with being the bigger person in a number of circumstances, and we instead base our actions on what we believe others will think.  That to me is only cowardice.  We are not without reason but nonetheless skeptical of those in need, and cynics towards if we alone can have any impact.  Do good.  Help others.  Give back.  Disregard the opinions of small-minded people. There may be a day you too will need help.  You will also hope there is someone there to catch you when you fall...even if it is a complete stranger with a few bucks to spare.

Everything comes full circle.

--Malia Etienette

Photo Credit-
Smart Bus- www.archive.freep.com
Spare Change- www.thrivedetroit.net
Natalie Sewell MT quote-  www.needhelpandinspiration.wordpress.com

Smell the Flowers

I wanted to write something funny today, a sort of comic relief.  Something lighthearted, pointing out the idiosyncrasies of my regulars.  Anything at all, but that's not where my mind is at this moment.

This week I almost lost my younger brother.  The strong, healthy boy who never gets sick suddenly became profoundly ill-- ill to the point that if he had decided to forego seeking medical help and had chosen to sleep off his pain instead, he would not have woken up.

 

I tried my hardest to recall the last meaningful conversation he and I shared...and shamefully, I couldn't.  We had both become so engrossed in living our separate lives. We had grown up, and in growing up-- apart.

It hit me that in just a fleeting moment, I would not have had him in my life.  It hit me that I'm also not as close with him as we were growing up.  The sudden realization made me sick...that I simply do not tell him enough how much I love him.

We live our lives in a constant rush.  A race to make money-- to get ahead.  We break our backs to achieve our grand scheme of success.  More often times than not, it is one very skewed ideology of success we are after in the first place.

We spend years of burying our heads in the pages of books to obtain a paper that we are told, promises us a better future.  We work because we have to;  it is what responsible adults do, even if this means working at a job we don't love which then leaves us empty and unfulfilled.  We entrap ourselves in some semblance of a social circle.  Congregate at the same watering holes with all of the usual suspects.  This is the monotony of our lives we grow accustomed to.  A cycle we have become familiar with.  A steadily beating drum that allows us to march forward, yet not always onward in progress.  We even at times become lost in the madness.  



Regretfully, we do not take the time to stop and smell the flowers-- the same ones we have been unwittingly passing by all along.  So call up your family.  Say hello to your siblings.  Yes, even the ones you may not get along with.  Hug your parents.  Don't be afraid to return to your roots.

It is a fact of life;  no one lives forever.  But wouldn't it be a shame if you did not appreciate the beauty of a life until it was too late?

--Malia Etienette

Photo Credit:
Kids on a dock- www.elyresorts.com
Stop and Smell the Flowers- www.mikeblockerspeaks.com