Plain and simple. Cut and dry.
Employers hold seminars, some even run week-long, just to tell assumably otherwise intelligent individuals that touching your coworkers and sharing obscenely colorful and insinuative language is a major "no-no".
Watching the monotonous videos, and going over and over awkward and uncomfortable scenarios in which instructors demonstrate the acceptable/inacceptable interactions you may be confronted with. You would roll your eyes, cursing the wasted time and think, how hard is that to understand?
But really, you would be surprised at how prevalent its occurence is- from corporate office down to the little Mom and Pop joints. It exists. And the fact of the matter is, sexual harassment is indiscriminatory. Black, white, gay, straight. Men harrass women, women harass men, same sex harassment happens.
WHY does it happen?
Well. Any number of reasons. Perhaps the offender felt as if their counterpart was inviting the advance. Was the counterpart knowingly flirting back in "harmless" fun where the offender could have been led on? Was this a case of victimization, because of provacative, low-cut and short-hemmed clothing? Perhaps the offender doesn't know where "the line" was drawn between being humorous and being crude. Maybe they are just an asshole altogether.
Whatever the reason may be, ultimately the offense is inexusable and unjustifiable.
_____________________________________________________________________________
My story? I thought you'd never ask...
I had worked at a local "rustic" burger joint for a few years, one that specialized in wild game.
The Bison Bar* was and still continues to be privately owned by a married couple and another partner or two.
Towards the end of my stint at the restaurant, I had encountered not one or two but multiple, repeated instances of sexual harrassment from one of the back of house managers who cooked full time- who ALSO had harassed several other female coworkers, each of whom quit after submitting their complaints.
It had escalated from a simple but still unwelcome pat on the ass to a full on grope from behind- while I was cutting produce one morning- to pulling me back into his groin while he ground into me, breathing down my neck and telling me, "If you was just a couple years older I would tear that p***y up."
Well. I don't know which part of that ISN'T sexual harassment, but it was then that I approached my managers.
Typically there is a chain of command process in handling issues in most workplaces...
And when one step on the ladder fails to function properly, you skip it and move on to the next- which after waiting a week without a response back, is exactly what I had to do.
The GM wasn't much help either.
Nearly two months had passed before the situation was addressed.
What was the resolution? He would be given a grand total of four days off work...and being paid on salary, this was like paid time off. In other words, he was awarded a vacation for overstepping his boundaries.
When he returned, not only did I have to work each shift alongside him I was also told to keep my mouth shut on the ordeal. The best solution for my management and owners was to quickly and quietly sweep the crumbs under the mat. The tension could be felt at work-- my superiors only welcomed room for a hostile work environment from that point on.
If anything, that was the precise moment those horribly dry but educational videos should have been brought back out and force fed to us as employees.
This was a huge red flag, disturbing to say in the least.
I hate to be the whistle-blower, but someone has to do it.
No worker should be subjected to assault and degredation, and then have to accomodate their offender and the proprietors by repaying them in silence. And for what? So the next batch of new employees will be none the wiser, and work along someone who clearly can't control their hands or filter their speech?
No thank you.
Unfortunately this story doesn't have a happy ending.
The manager got to keep his job.
I continued to work for the next month or two with a giant target on my back while I was fast-forwarded to the chopping block.
______________________________________________________________________________
I have seen girls get worked up and create havoc because some owner thought it would be okay to jam their tongues down the girls' throats.
Others have slept with a someone in a higher position assuming it would either ensure job security or provide other benefits, maybe even the ever-unlikely promotion.
Still others sit idly by and keep silent while this goes on in fear of losing their job, or having a bad image reflected upon themselves.
Here's the beauty of it:
Your job can be replaced, much like my workplace had backhanded me with the fact that so could I. Your dignity and your reputation can't.
They can always be repaired, but they will never be the same much like trying to glue back together a broken glass. You'll always see the seams from when it was damaged.
Truly unfortunate as well, there are also people who will cry wolf at the slightest incident. People need to be knowledgeable of what IS and ISN'T considered crossing the line or threatening
Any false claim could potentially harm someone else's reputation and credibility for a long time.
Groups such as the Equal Rights Advocates can help you to distinguish what could be considered harassment and also offer advice on how to handle the situation.
Even ABC explains sexual harassment and how to deal.
If anything, I have learned to speak up especially when it's important despite what anyone else thinks. You are protecting yourself, and in doing so you are also protecting others down the road.
The worst thing you could ever do is to keep silent as silence solves nothing.
-LM
Photo Credit:
How to Deal With Sexual Harrassment- www.local.com
Whistleblowers- www.clearingthefogradio.com
Ralph D. Hughes, APC- www.ralphdhughes.com
Silence as a Bad Tool to Resolve Conflict- www.oplife.org
No comments:
Post a Comment