Chocolates & flowers & love notes with XO's.Dresses & dinners, all pricey I suppose.
Desserts & lingerie, engagement rings
These are a few of my least favorite things (at least on this day).
That was assuming you've seen The Sound of Music...and if you haven't, shame on you. Let me be the first to accuse you of being un-American and uncultured.
Walking into The Valley, table tops were crowned with ornate roses. Deep crimsons lined the aisleway. The lighting had already been dimmed to allow the flicker of the candles to guide each guest's hand across the tiny two-top to clasp that of their date's. The overhead music was a subtle touch: french love songs. "How romantic." I audibly growled as I rolled my eyes.
Je t'adore, mon amour....
Si tu n'existes pas...
I'm not exactly sure why Americans celebrate something so artificial, so awful. Is it a reflection of how artificial and awful we have become? People say it's sweet and thoughtful, I get it. But why should people have to be reminded that they are required to show their partner how much they care on such a designated day. Valentine's Day is scripted- a perfectly choreographed dance. Where's the romance in that?
There's always this level of expectancy from the woman. Her date is left with an odd guessing of what she'll be happy with, if its enough and then it comes down to-
Hell, if it isn't good enough, tell the impossible-to-satisfy, gold-digging bitch to walk.
_____________
Waiting on couples this day is torture. If there was any more loving going on in the room, there would be a major baby boom this November. There's enough hormones raging in here to rival those of a Vegas pool party.
Couples who have been together for a significant period of time fall in the monotonous "this is what we do every year" routine.
New couples are still excited to post the pictures of their first V-Day together- her, dressed to kill and him, with something spilled down his shirt, smiling like a jackass.
And new daters? He's just wondering how much tonight is going to cost him before he can get it in.
Pathetic. It's what this holiday has become, really.
I'm happy, for the first time in a long time, not only am I unattached, but I have the night off on this God-awful holiday. Sitting here, eating a bowl of bolognese pasta at home with my laptop in front of me, this is heaven. The best part? I'm completely content with knowing I'm sparing someone else their time and money.
Let's be honest. The V in V-Day should stand for vodka. Find me at a bar later.
-LM
Photo Credit:
Roses: www.kareemoorepsychicmedium.com
B&W: www.bebetterguys.com
Wallpaper: www.picswalls.com
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